{"id":1775,"date":"2010-11-08T20:37:41","date_gmt":"2010-11-08T19:37:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/?p=1775"},"modified":"2010-11-08T20:37:41","modified_gmt":"2010-11-08T19:37:41","slug":"narraci-apcrifa-de-la-creaci","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/2010\/11\/08\/narraci-apcrifa-de-la-creaci\/","title":{"rendered":"Narraci&oacute; ap&ograve;crifa de la creaci&oacute;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/t1.gstatic.com\/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSpO7lv82aZw0o5TtZYD32clhkP5zrQRagcJcH6tGZT2uoEgM0&amp;t=1&amp;usg=__3P-euCvwEdkWe845AiAcUqXKlA0=\" \/><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">\u2026I D\u00e9u va poblar la terra amb espinacs, coliflors, br\u00f2quils    <br \/>i tot tipus de vegetals     <br \/>perqu\u00e8 l&#8217;Home i la Dona poguessin alimentar-se     <br \/>i portar una vida sana.     <br \/>I Satan\u00e0s va crear McDonald&#8217;s,     <br \/>i McDonald&#8217;s va crear el Big Mac     <br \/>I Satan\u00e0s va dir a&#160; l&#8217;Home:     <br \/>&#8216;Ho vols amb patates i Coca Cola?&#8217;.     <br \/>I l&#8217;Home va dir:     <br \/>&#8216;S\u00ed i en tamany gran&#8217;.     <br \/>I l&#8217;Home es va engreixar.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">.    <br \/>I D\u00e9u va dir:     <br \/>&#8216;Que es faci el iogurt perqu\u00e8 la Dona conservi la silueta     <br \/>que he creat amb la costella de l&#8217;Home &#8216;.     <br \/>I Satan\u00e0s va crear la xocolata.     <br \/>I la Dona va dir:     <br \/>&#8216;Amb ametlles&#8217;.     <br \/>I la Dona es va&#160; engreixar.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">I D\u00e9u va crear les amanides i l&#8217;oli d&#8217;oliva.     <br \/>I va veure que estava b\u00e9.     <br \/>I Satan\u00e0s va fer el gelat.     <br \/>I la Dona va dir:     <br \/>&#8216;De nata i maduixa&#8217;.     <br \/>I la Dona es va&#160; engreixar.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">I D\u00e9u va dir:     <br \/>&#8216;Mireu us he donat fruites en abund\u00e0ncia,     <br \/>que us serviran d&#8217;aliment &#8216;.     <br \/>I Satan\u00e0s va inventar els ous amb xori\u00e7o.     <br \/>I l&#8217;Home va dir:     <br \/>&#8216;I amb Cansalada&#8217;.     <br \/>I l&#8217;Home es va engreixar i el seu colesterol dolent se\u2019n va anar pels n\u00favols.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">D\u00e9u cre\u00e0 les sabatilles esportives     <br \/>i l&#8217;Home va decidir c\u00f3rrer per perdre els quilos de m\u00e9s.     <br \/>I Satan\u00e0s va concebre la televisi\u00f3 per sat\u00e8l\u00b7lit     <br \/>i va afegir el comandament a dist\u00e0ncia     <br \/>perqu\u00e8 l&#8217;Home no hagu\u00e9s de canviar de canal     <br \/>amb la suor del seu front.     <br \/>I l&#8217;Home va dir:     <br \/>&#8216;I vull una cerveseta&#8217;.     <br \/>I l&#8217;Home va augmentar de pes.     <br \/>I Satan\u00e0s va dir a la Dona:     <br \/>&#8216;L\u2019Home desitja uns aperitius&#8217;.     <br \/>I la Dona li va atansar a l&#8217;Home patatetes fregides, palets salats,     <br \/>cotnes , m\u00e9s xori\u00e7o i una altra cervesa.     <br \/>I l&#8217;Home,     <br \/>aferrat al comandament a dist\u00e0ncia,     <br \/>va menjar-se els aperitius,     <br \/>que eren abundants en colesterol.     <br \/>I Satan\u00e0s va veure que estava b\u00e9.     <br \/>I l&#8217;Home va arribar a tenir les coron\u00e0ries obstru\u00efdes.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">D\u00e9u digu\u00e9:     <br \/>&#8216;No \u00e9s bo que l&#8217;Home tingui un infart&#8217;.     <br \/>I, llavors, va crear el cateterisme i la cirurgia cardiovascular     <br \/>i les unitats coron\u00e0ries.     <br \/>I Satan\u00e0s va crear &#8230; LA SEGURETAT SOCIAL.     <br \/>I, ja cansat, va dir D\u00e9u:     <br \/>\u00a1\u00a1VINGA, ANEU-VOS-ES TOTS A FER PUNYETES!!     <br \/>I va crear als pol\u00edtics.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">I AQU\u00cd estem &#8230;&#8230;.&#160;&#160; .Apa Ad\u00e9u\u2026.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u2026I D\u00e9u va poblar la terra amb espinacs, coliflors, br\u00f2quils i tot tipus de vegetals perqu\u00e8 l&#8217;Home i la Dona poguessin alimentar-se i portar una vida sana. I Satan\u00e0s va crear McDonald&#8217;s, i McDonald&#8217;s va crear el Big Mac I Satan\u00e0s va dir a&#160; l&#8217;Home: &#8216;Ho vols amb patates i Coca Cola?&#8217;. I l&#8217;Home va [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":214,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2229],"tags":[31889],"class_list":["post-1775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pagkjs-sD","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1775","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/214"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1775"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1775\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1775"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1775"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.avui.cat\/jaumepubill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1775"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}